I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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