im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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