I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
