I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
