I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
