In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
