Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
