You smell like a Billy Joel song
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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