I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
