I seem to have left my pride at pride
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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