i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize