it wasn't lemon gatorade
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Randomize
