he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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