You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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