Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
