Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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