Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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