Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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