They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
