Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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