We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
