I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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