fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.