Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(615): View more from Tennessee

of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits

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(913): View more from Kansas

If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm

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(313): View more from Michigan

Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(919): View more from North Carolina

I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.

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(850): View more from Florida

Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.

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