Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.

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  (502): You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes. http://tfl.nu/c0ti
  Replies (5) Good night (740) Bad night (4771)
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  (805): View more from California

  I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"

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  (805): I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!" http://tfl.nu/ih8w
  Replies (24) Good night (4232) Bad night (793)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.

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  (612): you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all. http://tfl.nu/uo2n
  Replies (6) Good night (4971) Bad night (768)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS

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  (647): I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS http://tfl.nu/1k5d
  Replies (35) Good night (8412) Bad night (1311)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.

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  (204): You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head. http://tfl.nu/a92s
  Replies (25) Good night (4810) Bad night (1193)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget

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  (267): i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget http://tfl.nu/82kf
  Replies (8) Good night (2436) Bad night (1041)
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  (+84): View more from

  The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white

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  (+84): The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white http://tfl.nu/gomk
  Replies (8) Good night (3062) Bad night (699)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.

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  (304): Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh. http://tfl.nu/3wcj
  Replies (4) Good night (1966) Bad night (872)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.

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  (715): I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names. http://tfl.nu/wmoo
  Replies (11) Good night (1943) Bad night (771)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.

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  (509): Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year. http://tfl.nu/o1qc
  Replies (8) Good night (2066) Bad night (677)
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  (315): View more from New York

  My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.

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  (315): My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off. http://tfl.nu/m48w
  Replies (7) Good night (2697) Bad night (653)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.

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  (616): I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit. http://tfl.nu/as8y
  Replies (1) Good night (938) Bad night (351)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems

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  (505): Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems http://tfl.nu/nr34
  Replies (3) Good night (439) Bad night (431)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.

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  (502): I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off. http://tfl.nu/temq
  Replies (1) Good night (465) Bad night (174)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.

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  (479): I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience. http://tfl.nu/fk3c
  Replies (2) Good night (412) Bad night (170)

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