this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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