i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Are we still banned from the library?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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