Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So vagazzling was a success
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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