I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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