don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
