I must be too annoying 4 u.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
