dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
