remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
