So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
