The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
