she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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