weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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