Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
