If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
