so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
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I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
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You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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