i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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