nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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