drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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