I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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