i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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