My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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