At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
