whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
