Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
