Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
