you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
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all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
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Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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