So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
