I must be too annoying 4 u.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just gift wrapped bread.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
