i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
