I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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