Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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