I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize