ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.