i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.