Do you still have your period?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in