Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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