Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?