Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.