Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
