16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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