Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
