Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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