Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
